Yearning Seasons...

I'm not sure if any of you have experienced this but I often find myself dropping in and out of, what I call, yearning seasons.

A yearning season is when you're constantly thinking about certain desires of your heart. You find yourself always thinking about it and desiring to be in the that next season.

Here's the issue with that...when you are always yearning a desire that has not manifested yet, you miss the desires/ blessings that God is showering you with now. You miss the lessons God is trying to teach you now. You miss what God is speaking to you now because your head space is constantly consumed with something else.

In the beginning, it felt good to yearn for certain things. I loved thinking about the desires of my heart. I longed to have those things now. However, that quickly turned into sadness and anger, in some cases, because I didn't have those things yet and I didn't know when I would get them.

What desires? I think, oftentimes, we find ourselves longing to have a family, a new career, our own ministry, a new home, to travel, etc. These things we've prayed about and some of them God has answered 'yes' to, but we just haven't seen them manifest yet. I can't exactly pinpoint when the yearning begins. Sometimes, it's when I've had a rough day, other times it's when I see so many other people who have what I hope to have, posting about it on social media and other times it just randomly pops up.

How do I handle this? I've got to tell you; I think I've failed at it many times. I usually sit in my negative, jealous feelings until I'm ready to move pass it, but I don't think that's what pleases God. The bible says:

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." - Philippians 4:8

In no way are these thoughts lovely or honorable, right? If you ask me, they're full of discontentment, jealousy and fear. Fear that this desire will never come to pass. Jealous of every other person that is experiencing the things I want, and I can't. Discontent in my current season, which, oftentimes, is there to prepare me for the desires I yearn for.

Get this, sometimes the things you yearn for are not God's desires for you but your own desires. Things that God never designed for you to have but because you haven't consulted with Him, you're unaware of His purpose for you.

When I get in this place, I must do a spiritual 'reset' in my mind and in my heart. I have to go to Christ and pour out how I feel. I have to repent for making those thoughts an idol in my mind and in my heart. I repent for allowing my own feelings of jealousy, discontentment and fear get the best of me. Then I resubmit my will back to Him. I want my desires and my will to be His desires and His will for me. I admit that His will is best for me in His perfect timing and then I release it back to Him. Sometimes I'll ask God, how can I let this go so it's in His hands and not mine.

I want to encourage you, if you find that you experience yearning seasons, go to God about them. Ask God what His will is for you. Ask Him what you should be focusing on in this season. Ask Him to lead you to what scriptures you should meditate on when these yearnings begin. Ask Him what scriptures you should study in general in this season. Most importantly, ask Him to realign you with His will. We want what Christ desires for us and nothing else.